You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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