she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
