guys are only as good as the porn they watch
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
