My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need help removing her.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
