Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
it was like eating out sand paper
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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