I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
