im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
