i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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