my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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