I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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