THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
