Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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