i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
