Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
