haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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