i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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