What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
