Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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