my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
