Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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