im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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