so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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