So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
