i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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