he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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