do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
