i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Randomize
