doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize