Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
