Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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