Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.