She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.