the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS