Someone shit on the floor
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.