And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.