Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
