super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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