Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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