exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
