I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
