the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My life is pants optional.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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