So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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