OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
