i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
