she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
