ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??