I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
