I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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