Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You're like the curious george of whores
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
