worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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