If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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