I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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