its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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