Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
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we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
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It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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