Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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