Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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