All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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